toxic produce

Fast food salads, I have discovered, are really pretty good. The problem is that they load them with those new kind of grape tomatoes – looks like a grape but it’s red and it’s really a tomato – and about 50% of the time they’re rotten. So you’re really chowing down and all of a sudden you bite down on one of these rotten fuckers and it’s like you just bit into the contents of an entire garbage dump. Then what do you do? Do you go ahead and swallow real fast just to get the taste OUT OF YOUR MOUTH? Or do you spit it out? And if you decide to spit it out, you’re frantically looking around for a napkin or something and in the meantime this rotten/garbage dump-tasting thing is in your mouth and your’re about to puke. You really have to watch out for those things.

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