Archive for August, 2005

cluless in k.c.

This has been a VERY busy week in our household with very little time to spare due to an intense varsity soccer tournament schedule, concession stand duties and other soccer stuff on the “off” nights; then a football game Friday night that we’ll attend because Julian’s also in marching band. Add buying a new car, trying to sell an old one, insomnia for the last two nights, a very bothersome summer cold, and that little nuisance of having to work a full-time job and I’m about to run screaming into the night.

So now you can see why I had NO IDEA that the entire city of New Orleans was underwater. When did that happen?

jesus & mary sitting in a tree…

A news report last night highlighted the controversy surrounding the filming of The DaVinci Code.

Has anyone told them that The DaVinci code is a novel (i.e. a work of fiction)???????

Just wondering.

woodstock revisited

Sunday afternoon, waking up from a nap, half awake and half asleep. I’m trying to make out the woman’s voice I hear coming from the downstairs TV. “Hmmm, sounds like Joan Baez at Woodstock. No, couldn’t be.” After a couple of minutes, I just HAD to find out, so I stumbled down the stairs and find the teenaged boy watching, what else, Woodstock on VH1 Clasic.

We sat there and watched together for the next 2 1/2 hours, with Julian asking “who’s that” and commenting that Joan Baez “wasn’t that good,” and correctly identifying Joe Cocker’s version of With A Little Help From My Friends as a Beatles song. I told him he HAD to see John Belushi’s parody of Joe Cocker, and that when I saw Joe Cocker he was stinking drunk. We rocked out to Santana and Sly & the Family Stone and Ten Years After and Country Joe and the Fish. Being VH1, the very well-known Fish Cheer was cut from this TV version of the movie, so I felt compelled to fill him in on what he was missing: “Give me an F, Give Me a U… What’s that spell? What’s that spell?…” Finally, when it appeared to be almost over, Julian asked a little sadly, “but where’s Hendrix?” And just then, you could see the white finged shirt and hear the notes of The Star Spangled Banner (simply the finest version of our country’s anthem EVER recorded) wail out of Jimi’s Fender Stratocaster. A great ending to a great documentary.

It was probably the longest period of time we’ve spent together, just Julian and myself, in several months. Thank you Woodstock.

I was talking to Tracy during the movie and mentioned that I can remember listening to the radio during those 3 days in August of 1969, thinking to myself “but I’m SUPPOSED to be there. It’s not fair!” And Tracy said “Me TOO.” There were probably a lot of 12 year old kids out there wishing they could be at Woodstock. Somehow, we just KNEW it was an important moment in our lives, and how right we were. If you had asked us at that very moment what we wanted to be when we grew up, our answer would no doubt have been “hippies.”

Now I see my 18 year old wearing tye dye T shirts and driving around with a Bob Marley sticker and a Darwin Fish on his car and I KNOW he’s channeling his mother, circa 1969. And so I’ve made a vow: If and when our current president visits our fair city, we will be there at the anti-Bush protest, shaking our fists and shouting “No More War.” What else is a hippie mother to do?

This post is dedicted to Cindy Sheehan.

bad language postscript

Just heard here at my fine upstanding place of work:

“Hey, they just found stem cells in umbilical cords so they don’t gotta chop up little babies no more.”

cool

bad language

I have to work around people who routinely slaughter the English language with poor grammar, extreme overuse of the word F*** and the phrase “ain’t got no”. The two are often combined, as in “ain’t got no f***in’…” or f***in’ ain’t got no”. Either I’m getting old or people are just plain f***in’ ignorant these days. In other words, they act like they ain’t go no f***in’ education.

Yesterday I heard a news reporter use the phrase “3am in the morning”. I do not like redundancy. I thought the reason you use “a.m” is to indicate that it’s IN THE MORNING. You wouldn’t say 3am in the afternoon, would you? This is not the first time I’ve heard something like that recently. I hope it’s not a developing trend.

The term “24/7” is also starting to grate on my nerves. I especially dislike it when people say 24/7/365. If you use this phrase around me, I won’t be your friend.

But the most annoying thing I’ve seen lately is people turning a plural into a possessive. When people turn plural’s into possessive’s it really piss’s me off. I recently saw something in print that said Support the Troop’s.

So to summarize: We’ve developed into a nation of idiot’s who ain’t got no f***ing clue how to spell worth a shit. But, by God, we support the troop’s 24/7/365, no matter if it’s 3am in the morning or 2pm in the afternoon’s.

INXS excess

My latest guilty pleasure: Rockstar INXS. It both entertains and repulses me. Entertaining when someone actually sings a song on-key. Repulsed by Dave Navarro’s complicated facial hair and femme-bot Brooke Burke’s “Ain’t I just a cool rock chick” act. Also can’t believe they actually refer to the contestants as “The Rockers”. Dur.

No, I do not watch all 3 shows each week – I only watch the hour-long performance show. And no, I do not care who the hell wins except I don’t want that stupid Deanna to get it cause her voice reminds me of an affected nighclub singer with an overabundance of testosterone. And last night she wore a Jennifer Lopez-like dress that quite liberally showed us exactly how saggy her breasts are. Yucky-poo.

Last night Dave Navarro’s Stupid Comment of the Night came after Mig’s performance of Peter Frampton’s Baby I Love Your Way – “Dude, while you were singing I was just sittin’ here thinking about how much I love my wife.” What kind of stupid shit is that? Oh, did I mention that his wife is CARMEN ELECTRA. Wasn’t she married to Dennis Rodman? Apparently she likes men with complicated facial hair and a multiude of tatoos.

And what does the winner of Rock Star INXS get? They get to be lead singer of a has-been 80s discoesqe pop band whose lead singer, Michael Hutchence died in 1997. I guess the remaining members of the band want to go back out on tour and be rock stars again so they’re choosing their lead singer from a REALITY TV SHOW. Can you say Sell-Out Losers?

Let’s just say this is a show so bad it’s good.

now a word from our sponsors

I know famous people:

My cousin Venus VanHorn and her band The Cass County Lamentors will be performing on August 27th from 2-4pm at Tiblow Days in Bonner Springs. Come out and hear Venus croon your favorite, old-timey country music favorites. Bring tissue cause baby, you’re gonna cry in your beer. Admission is free.

Old, old, old friend and classmate Mark Pender and his band will be performing on Sept 10th at Jazz at the Corners in Grandview starting at 8:45pm. Mark’s a fantastic jazz/funk trumpet player and he’s bringing his band all the way from NYC to play in our old hometown. Admission is also free. Can’t beat that.