Woot! It’s my special day – Veteran’s Day! I don’t’ get the day off, so I’m compensating by not really working. Instead, I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time working up a little tune that Pat Robertson can sing to the citizens of Dover, Pennsylvania.

Revolution, Under God
(sung to the tune of Revolution 1 by the Beatles. Go ahead, sing along in your head – it really works!)

You say you wanna teach evolution?
Well you know,
I don’t think you understand.
God aint’ gonna give you absolution.
Oh? How do I know?
I sit at God’s right hand.

And when your town faces destruction
You’d better call on Mr. Charles Darwin
Don’t you know it ain’t gonna be, alright
Don’t you know it ain’t gonna be, alright
Don’t you know it ain’t gonna be, alright

Hey Dover, I’ve got a real solution
Well you know
Wouldn’t you love to see the plan?
Just give me a real big contribution
To my TV show
And I’ll have a word with The Man

He says you gotta teach something real divine,
Hey! How about Intel-li-gent Design?
And then it’s gonna be alright
And then it’s gonna be alright
And then it’s gonna be alright

I didn’t do the 3rd verse because, really, I need to do a little something today and this has pretty much taken up an entire day’s work already. You probably think that this stuff just flows from my brain to my typing fingers in one continuous stream-of-consciousness kind of way, but it’s actually more like a spastic retarded person trying to count change. Lots of mistakes and jerking around.

Anyway, keep ‘em coming Pat. You’re hilarious, dude.

“I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance”


1 Response to “revolution/evolution”

  1. 1 Miss Texas January 12, 2006 at 11:50 am

    as usual, you’ve hit the nail right on the head, oh wise woman. It ain’t for nuthin that our road show will be entitled “two wise fat ladies explain all.”” keep it comin’–eventually our attacks at the r. right’s soft and flabby underbelly will pay off!

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