bathtubs are for bathing

I don’t know about you, , but I’ve really had it with the Cialis commercials showing the middle-aged couple sitting in matching bathtubs. Outside. In Bathtubs. I don’t find it cute or playful and I don’t know anyone who thinks that looks like fun. There are about a million things that bother me about that particular commercial, but I’ll pare it down to a manageable few:

#1: There is no weather suitable for sitting in a bathtub outside. If it was warm outside, don’t you know the water in that metal tub has to feel like you’re sitting in warm urine?   That would not be a sexy feeling, for sure.  And forget about sitting outside in a bathtub in cold weather.   Old people get pneumonia and die from doing that shit.

#2: Older people should not sit outside in their birthday suits unless they’re pretty sure nobody else is gonna see them. I know this, I’m their age. Sitting naked in a tub should only be done in the privacy of your own home.  Preferably with the lights dimmed.

#3:  Where does the water come from? This one really bugs me. And where does it go when they pull the plug?

#4:  How is the guy going to get an erection if he’s in his own tub, by himself?  And another thing – those tubs are so deep, you couldn’t even perform any decent foreplay on your partner.  So are they masturbating or what?  Personally, I think the guy looks way too relaxed to be getting his freak on.  

And finally –

#5: In the ad they appear to be in the mountains. Where are they going to have sex? Don’t tell me they’re going to have sex in one of the tubs. Having sex in a tub is something only young, agile people can manage. Try having sex in a tub when you’re 50 or 60. You’ll end up with more problems than erectile dysfunction, believe me. Can you spell fractured hip? Again, old people die from that shit.

OK. Call me fixated, or easily distracted by minutiae. I can’t relax when I see commercials like this because the questions just start swirling around in my head and it eventually drives me so bonkers I have to rant about it. Kind of like the way I feel whenever I see the president on TV.  Yeah. That kind of bonkers. 


He:  “Hey baby, I think it’s getting harder.”
She:  “It damn well better be.  Who’s idea was it to sit in these goddamn tubs, anyway?”


3 Responses to “bathtubs are for bathing”

  1. 1 Blue Athena April 10, 2007 at 5:41 pm

    Is that a village in the valley down below? Don’t people have binoculars?

    I can see a telephone pole. so I know it’s not the middle of nowhere. And if it was, there’s that whole water source thing you mention…

  2. 2 Brad April 18, 2007 at 7:05 am

    You are the funniest 50-year-old I’ve found on the Internet. 🙂

    I totally agree with you and the bathtub thing. You can’t screw in those tiny tubs. It’s hard enough to screw in a big tub!

  3. 3 observantbystander April 18, 2007 at 7:02 pm

    Brad, you’ve made my day. Thanks!

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