anna nicole just won’t go away

Anna Nicole Smith died on February 8, 2007, so she’s been deceased for 10 weeks now. 

Entertainment Tonight airs weeknights here right after the 6:00pm news. 

 I try not to watch Entertainment Tonight, preferring to watch a Seinfeld episode instead.  In my opinion, Seinfeld features the only stars I’m interested in seeing, however, I occasionally see the lead story on ET if I’m not quick enough to switch the channel. 

Of course, it was normal to see Anna Nicole lead stories on ET right after she died.  She was a star, don’tcha know?  And then there was the whole autopsy and burial fiasco which seemed to go on for weeks. 

At first, we didn’t notice it, and now I wish we had kept track, because I swear that the lead story on ET has been some manifestation of the ANS story every night for the last 10 weeks.  Lately, Dannilynne (or whatever her name is) is leading – but it’s still an ANS story if you ask me.  This brat wouldn’t even be famous if her mother hadn’t been such a big invented phenomenon/golddigger “star.”  A couple of weeks ago, as a joke, Ken and I started trying to guess what the lead ET story would be. 

“Anna Nicole Smith!” I’d say.  “Aw, you’re probably right,” Ken would reply. 

And every night, it’s been ANS or Dannilynn, or Larry Birkhead, or Howard K Stern, or her white trash no count momma, or her white trash no count step-sister, or the coroner, or the doctor who prescribed her drugs, etc, etc, etc.   I keep hoping that SURELY BY NOW the story would be stale – but noooo.   

 On Monday, after the VT shootings, I thought they’d say something about that tragedy although it’s not really entertainment news – just to show some humanity, you know?

Oh hell no.   Dannilynne led yet again. 

Tonight’s lead story?  You guessed it!  Fresh from the ET website –
Larry Birkhead’s surprise attack on tabloid rumors, and Virgie tonight on ET!    (and in case you were wondering, Virgie is ANS’s no count white trash mamma).

And thus we start week 11 since ANS died.  How much longer can the madness continue?  Stay tuned.

…………………………………………………………………………….. 

On another note, I’ll be going to see David Sedaris read Friday night.  If you don’t know who he is, you’re missing the best humorous essayist on the planet – in my humble opinion.  Yes, he’s even funnier than me, but hell – he writes for a living.  I guess if I had to write like my life depended on it, I’d be a helluva lot better than THIS, believe me.   Anyway, the only thing better than reading David’s essays are hearing him read them himself.  If he wasn’t gay, I’d consider throwing my phone number (or my panties) onstage.  Check out some of his New Yorker pieces.  You won’t be disappointed.

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2 Responses to “anna nicole just won’t go away”


  1. 1 prisonmike April 20, 2007 at 9:40 am

    An excerpt from ANS’s euology. With apologies to Big Head Ted.

    Anna Nicole needs to be idealized, and enlarged in death beyond what she was in life, to be remembered simply as a no good and indecent huss, who saw octagenarian cash and tried to grab it, saw publicity and tried to bathe in it, saw humility and tried to stop it.

    Those of us who tolerated her and who take her to her rest today, pray that what she was to us and what he wished for others will some day put a karmic bite on her ass.

    As she said many times, in many parts of this nation, to those she touched and who sought to touch her (gross!):

    “Some a ya’all see pharmceuticals as they are and say why.
    I dream doublewides that never were and say why not.”

  2. 2 observantbystander April 20, 2007 at 10:41 am

    Mikie: Succinctly said, as usual. You are a master of words, my friend. I just hope Dannielynn can grow up to emulate her mother – to be as much an inspiration to us as her mother, to love life as her mother did. What a legacy!


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