what to do?

What do you do when:

  1. Your 19-going-on-20 son hasn’t made the GPA he’s supposed to maintain for his state-funded college tuition?
  2. Said son’s bank account hovers consistently at the $30.00 mark?
  3. Previously mentioned son lives away from home in a rented apartment with a lease until Nov. 1st

Do I?

  1. Ignore all warning signs and hope for the best?
  2. Beat him over the head with a stick while yelling “Get your shit together!  I know I raised you better than this!”
  3. Start getting his old room ready for him to move back into in December?

 Any and all suggestions are welcome.

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6 Responses to “what to do?”


  1. 1 poseidonsmuse June 4, 2007 at 2:07 pm

    I’m probably the least qualified person to answer this question – but maybe I can add some humour to the situation. Theoretically, there could be a plan “4” – namely, launch your child out of the nest and hope said child lands on some “un-named” Hawaiian island inhabited by a crazed lunatic by the name of Benjamin [wink]. Maybe he’ll get his crap together when Jacob scares the heck out of him in some creepy shack [“Yes Jacob, I will do much better in calculus, just stop throwing wooden chairs at me!”]. Or, if you are academically inclined – this…

    http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Dont-Tell-Me-What-Do-Helen-E-Johnson/9780312263744-item.html?ref=Search+Books%3a+'parenting+college

    Lol! Good luck!

  2. 2 observantbystander June 4, 2007 at 8:05 pm

    Somehow I knew you and I were some kind of soul sisters! Thanks for the first, and probably only belly laugh of the day – which occurred when I clicked on the link you provided. You made my day – and that wasn’t easy to do.

  3. 3 Blue Athena June 5, 2007 at 8:20 pm

    I read about a study in Australia where students who had taken time off to work before college did significantly better than those who didn’t. Don’t suppose it’s an option? Or has he done it? Or do you fear he won’t go back?

  4. 4 observantbystander June 5, 2007 at 8:26 pm

    I worked for 4 years before I went to college and found it to be most helpful. If that’s what he wants to do, I’d totally support that idea. However, I know the liklihood of attending college is less the longer you wait. That’s my greatest fear for him. He’s so freaking smart – he aces the classes he’s interested in (chemistry, biology) and totally screws up the simple stuff like English and History. Makes a mother want to tear her hair out…

    Have you decided to start blogging again (hint, hint)?

  5. 5 Blue Athena June 5, 2007 at 8:44 pm

    Nah…no time.

    I can understand your son, I think. I used to think why the heck should I do the classes I’m not interested in? It’s funny how you often don’t realize how much you’re going to wish you learned something until it’s too late.

    I was a science person in high school and the beginning of college, and then went more humanities/social sciences. I wouldn’t say one is easier than the other…at least it shouldn’t be unless the school has done something stupid in it’s admissions policy.

  6. 6 RubyShooZ June 7, 2007 at 11:17 am

    I stand by my sons decisions, even if they are bad ones, I keep telling them I love them, and I know in my heart that when my mother kept letting me come home, kept giving me money, kept “helping” me in the only way she knew, she was actually doing me a disservice. I wound up being dependent on her, I wound up staying sick, staying stuck, going in circles and begging and demanding for help.

    I’ve found that sometimes we have to let people fall on their faces and learn the lessons they must learn in order for them to grow.

    They make mistakes and screw up – just like I did. It can be so much harder when it’s our own children and we never want to see them hurt, but telling them what they need to do is not always right for them. We all have to learn from our mistakes and experiences, otherwise, we remain in limbo, leaning on others when the reality is we need to learn how to stand and walk on our own. Yes, we fall and if we’re lucky, our moms will brush us off and continue to watch us fall down again until we can walk for ourselves.

    We offer them our love, we let them know we’re there for them and we tell them that we don’t want to limit their growth by over nurturing them. It might piss them off, but that anger just might empower them to march on to their own freedom and give them the tools they will need in this sometimes very hard life.

    Best wishes to you and your family, truly.


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