Blaming it on Disaronno

The time:  Last Friday night, approximately 11:30pm
The place:  At home, in the study, on the internet (natch)
Level of inoxication:  Mild, but getting there (two cocktails, down, working on the 3rd).

Ken arrives home after his stellar performance in community theater as The Coach in High School Musical  (and before you ask why I wasn’t there, I went to the Sunday matinee, thank you very much).  After appropriate kisses and inquiries about my evening (fair) and how his performance was (quite fine), Ken sits down at his computer to check email.  Soon there is the sound of a braying laughter coming from his side of the room. 

“Whaaas so funny?” I inquire, barely slurring my words.
“This joke my nephew sent me.  You want to hear it?” Ken asks, apparently judging that I am not too impaired for a joke.
“Yes!” I exclaim. (I cannot resist a joke, any kind of joke whatsoever.  Jokes are manna from the gods).

“OK.  You’re riding a horse.  On your immediate right there is a drop-off.  On your immediate left is a lion chasing a gazelle.  In front of you is a zebra and in back of you is an elephant.  What do you do next?”

“Hmmmm.  Lion, gazelle.  Uh, unicorn in the front, coyote on the left?   What if I kill the lion with my light sabre, then challenge the unicorn to a dual?  No, that won’t work, the unicorn has special powers……..   Oh fuck it, I give up.  What do I do next?”

Ken looks over at me, smiles and exclaims, “Get your drunken ass off the merry-go-round!”

I immediately start laughing.  “I cannot believe you said that to me!  That was hilarious, honey!  Get your drunken ass off the merry-go-round, that is too funny.  So what’s the answer, huh?”

“The answer is” Ken says deliberately, “Get your drunken ass off the merry-go-round.”




10 Responses to “Blaming it on Disaronno”

  1. 1 writerchick August 9, 2007 at 7:26 pm

    LOL – that’s an oldie but a goodie. And how nice of you to be semi tipsy when he told it. 😉

    Completely had me going on that one. Here’s another one he got me on not once, but twice: Q: When geese fly in a V-formation, there’s always more geese on one side than the other. Why?

    A: Because there’s more geese on that side.

    Twice, mind you. He got me twice with that. Bastard. 🙂

  2. 2 Deb August 9, 2007 at 9:36 pm


    I’d have fallen for them both as well!

    Glad to know I’m not alone!

  3. 3 Red August 9, 2007 at 11:18 pm

    You’re such a lush. *shakes head*


    Hee, hee, hee!

  4. 4 Anthony North August 10, 2007 at 3:55 am

    Hi OB,
    It’s nice to know I’m not the only one in the universe who like a couple of drinks on a night to unwind. In my case, it’s beer.
    You only have to worry when you don’t remember the joke.

    Yes, I like to have a nice relaxing drink or two on the weekend – when I can baby the inevitible migraine the next day. I’m such a sucker for jokes and don’t remember most of them, but love ’em to death. Laughing is my therapy.

  5. 5 Paul Baylay August 10, 2007 at 7:41 am

    Laughed my ass off…… its that simple..! What a read.. 🙂 and yes I like to be sober once or twice a week too but lets not make it a bad habit.

    Paul, I’m glad to know that this wasn’t a case of “you really had to be there” for this to be funny. Here’s a true story from this week:

    My boss comes to me and asks if the payroll’s been run. “Yes”, I answer. “Damn”, he says – “I forgot to tell you about a couple of wage changes.” “No problem”, I say. “I can fix that.”

    “Are you sure? That’s not gonna fuck you hard, is it?” he asks.
    Immediate redness creeps rapidly up his face and he says “Oh my God, I cannot believe that just came out of my mouth. I am so sorry!”

    “Oh, don’t worry about it, I knew what you meant.” I reply. “But I seem to have a sudden craving for a post-coital cigarette.”

  6. 6 poseidonsmuse August 10, 2007 at 2:53 pm

    You got me OB…I too was sipping Merlot from my favourite Pier 1 glass last night (you might know the one…the clear crystal with the blue swirl…)! Anyways, the thought of being drunk on a merry-go-round makes me GREEN…Stop spinning…let me off this thing! Lol!

    Muse – Oh yes, and that’s one of your prettier glasses, too! Sorry to make you so dizzy today, dear, but I keep telling you to lay off that stuff during the week!

  7. 7 Grace August 10, 2007 at 4:58 pm

    LOLLLLLL OK…I’m not sure what’s funnier. The post or your bosses comment. 🙂

    I believe my level of intoxication tonight will hit about “just this shy of hangover tomorrow morning.”

    Oh God, he’s still getting shit for that comment, too!

  8. 8 RubyShooZ August 11, 2007 at 8:45 am

    Thanks for the laugh! Have you gotten off the merry go round yet?

    I just stopped by to say thank you for being here, thank you for the laughs always and thanks for being you.

    Thinking of you all today.

    ~ RubyShooZ ~

    Peace, love and understanding.

    Thanks Ruby! You know every time I think of you, I’m reminded of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, a movie that is near and dear to my heart for many reasons. Hope you’re feeling well today and thank you for being who you are also (as I wipe the mist from my eyes). You are an amazing woman.

  9. 9 SurfaceEarth August 11, 2007 at 10:50 am

    That is too good for words, I am still smiling! Thanks for sharing the joy.

    Glad to spread the joy over the blogosphere!

  10. 10 joebec August 15, 2007 at 4:16 pm

    that’s a great joke, drunk or sober!

    It’s a pretty good one. Ya gotta have jokes, I always say!

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