Let’s do some updating, shall we? I haven’t been able to find my usual warped sense of humor lately (gee Observant, no shit) so I will do a little information housekeeping instead.
- Ken’s son, Danny is on his way back home from his 6 months in Iraq. Not only did this badass Marine make it through his 3rd tour of duty over in that hellhole, he survived a divorce, too. Not one to let the grass grow under his feet, Danny’s already got a new hottie girlfriend lined up. Since he’ll be taking a new assignment as a drill instructor, he’ll have stateside duty for the next 3 years. His father is relieved, to say the least.
- Not only am I tired of the Iraq war, I’m REALLY tired of Ken Burns’ The War now. Thankfully, it’s the last episode tonight and once we bomb the Japs to kingdom come, it will finally be over. No wonder I’ve lost my sense of humor.
- My parents enjoyed their trip to France – but when a group of elderly folks get together for any length of time, someone’s bound to need an ambulance. This time it was my aunt, who fell down some stairs, broke her glasses and bruised up her face. The good news is that the old folks are now huge converts to socialized medicine. “Thirty dollars for that ER visit. Can you BELIEVE it? Thirty dollars. And the doctor wasn’t some hack, let me tell you. This guy knew what he was doing!” It’s a big fucking deal when you can impress my skinflint relatives. Yes, France was a huge success.
- One of my very good friends, who some of you may know as PrisonMike – semi-regular commenter here at the Observation Deck – had a heart attack last weekend. He’ll probably kill me for putting this out on the Web but it’s my site, dammit, so there. Anyway, after two days and two stents he’s back home and on the mend. Of course he had to call me tonight to extol the virtues of Chantexand its miraculous stop-smoking abilities (and me, puffing away on the other end of the line was thinking “oh fuck, I’ve really got to stop smoking these things.”). If you feel the urge to leave him a comment here, he’ll be sure to see it since he’s on Heart Attack Sick Leave for the next few days – which means he’s sitting around the house watching Jerry Springer on TV and reading blogs on the Internet. Get well soon, Mikie! You are a never-ending source of laughs and general amusement for me, so if you die it will thoroughly piss me off. And I promise to stop smoking the cancer sticks, since you did. I guess this means no more smoke breaks for us, buddy. I suppose we could just have cussing and spitting contests instead.
- Observant and her faithful companion Ken have decided to add a Master Suite to the house. Since I am Anal Retentive (took the test, passed), the planning stage is taking forever. But since I am also a Miser (again, took the test, passed), I want to know EXACTLY how much it’s going to cost. Which means I’ll be horribly disappointed when it goes over. But I’m ready for that, so it won’t be a total downer. I hear Master Suites are all the rage these days but we’re more interested in having a bedroom on the first floor so we won’t have to climb stairs during our twilight years.
Because an ER visit here in the US costs a whole lot more than $30.00.
There you have it, folks – all the news that’s fit to print today. Looks like we’re about to deliver the A bomb to Japan – and just in the nick of time too. I hope Ken Burns waits a few years before he delivers his next mega-documentary..