Move it

Well, after taking a gander at my stats today it became painfully obvious that, unless I post something new, people aren’t just going to continue to come over here to reread the same week-old shit over and over again.

That kinda sucks because it means I really have to write something.  And I’ve got nothin’.  Nothing, zilch, zero. 

It’s not for lack of trying, kids.  Mama’s been LOOKING for inspiration but it’s hiding.  Oh, there’s plenty of negative inspiration I could write about – like teenage boys for instance.  Since I QUIT SMOKING (thank you very much), I’ve been back at my usual hike and bike trail with the doggie in the afternoons, and right now the high school cross country boys are doing some of their training there.    This means that Coco and I can be walking along, him at the end of the 10′ leash, smelling and pissing on everything, and all of a sudden a pack of teenage boys comes trotting around the bend which means I have to reel the dog in lest he tangle himself up the the boys’ feet and cause a massive cross country pile up.    I don’t mind – really – it just kind of fucks up the zen state I was striving for.    And they don’t even really move aside much, which is kind of rude if you ask me.  Yesterday it wasn’t the cross country boys that pissed me off – it was a pack of 5 regular mooky-type 15 year olds (I’m guessing 15, because 16 year olds boys would normally be in a car, terrorizing me on the streets instead on the hike and bike trail).   I’m walking the dog as usual and I see these boys ahead of me, standing around on the trail doing typical teenage boy shit – clowning around, pushing each other, talking to their peeps on the cell phone.  I’m gaining on them fast because I’m walking for EXERCISE and they’re just standing there.    Normal people (this does not include teenage boys) would move – right?  Not them.  I had to walk around them which didn’t sit well with me.

What is it about teenage boys that gives them their sense of ownership about everything?

I had a teenage boy so I know this isn’t a figment of my imagination.  Teenage boys like to take up space.  They get off on the territorial, “this is my fucking space and I’m not moving, so there” attitude.   They seem to NEED to do this.

I wonder:  Is this how men took over the world?  Did they just plop down and refuse to move?

Or am I just pissed because I quit smoking?

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15 Responses to “Move it”


  1. 1 pradapixie October 30, 2007 at 3:53 pm

    Brilliant….. the idea that you are surprised that we don’t want to keep reading the same old shit…. How very unreasonable of us. You simply can’t get the right class of readership anymore, we’re all so demanding nowadays!!!

    And you’re so right about teenage boys, Do they grow out of it, or do they take their skills underground and use in subversve ways aa men?
    pxx

    Yeah, people are so easy to figure out! Ha! I think the teenage boys take their skills to adulthood, but refine them so we’re not so aware that they’re slowly taking over the world.

  2. 2 Deb October 30, 2007 at 8:13 pm

    My theory is that they grow so fast they don’t realize they take up that much space! Me, I never grew, so I didn’t have that issue, and I continued to be trampled on if I didn’t move out of the way. (and yes, I have had someone literally trip over me.) (and yes, I was standing up at the time!)

    Come to think of it, if I suddenly grew a foot, I’d make people go around ME for once too!

    Yeah, I’ve always had those short issues too – stopped growing in Jr. High!

  3. 3 Spyder October 30, 2007 at 10:11 pm

    Next time don’t reel the dog in!

    I’ve considered it, believe me. Damn kids need to reel themselves in for a change. Hey, it sounds like ya’ll had a good time at the Halloween party. Glad you didn’t get caught in the checkpoint!

  4. 4 anonymum October 31, 2007 at 3:23 am

    i still come….i might not comment but i’m here every day..sometimes twice to see what little snippets of brilliance have escaped your brain..

    Aw, you’re a sweetie! ‘Snippets of brillance’ – too kind, Maureen! (but I’ll take it. Oh you bet I will).

  5. 5 anonymum October 31, 2007 at 3:29 am

    sorry, got a bit off track there…only read the first few lines…oops!
    i’m with spyder…don’t reel the dog in…let him piss on them too…ignorant little shits might move the next time..
    as for the ownership thing, well it comes with having a dick! it’s a real testosterone thing…just cos they have an appendage that looks like it’s been savaged by a wild fucking bear they think they’re tougher than everyone else…if you could get away with kicking them in the little extras that come with the dick, they’d be at your feet before you know it…
    😆

    What I really feel like saying is “Boys, take a good look in the mirror, cause the sad truth is that this is the best looking you’re ever going to be in your life.” If they only knew how utterly true that is…might humble them a bit.

  6. 6 angelawd October 31, 2007 at 1:59 pm

    Yeah, what is it about boys? Do they just not even realize there are other people in the world. I agree with all of the above. let your dog greet them enthusiastically!

    I’m going to do it! The next pack of boys I come across that won’t move, I’ll let the dog pee on their shoes. Ha! That will be awesome!

  7. 7 Doktor Holocaust October 31, 2007 at 3:11 pm

    In Weswtern cultures, men took over because women were trained to be very concerned with what others think while men were trained to achieve some pre-selected measurable goal with absolutely no regard to what others think of them, their methods, or the trail of mangled orphans and widows in their wake.

    Women want approval from others. Men figure that if they have the most land, the sturdiest castle, the biggest cannons, the lowest-gas-mileage truck or whatever, it won’t matter what other people think because those same other people will have no choice but to accommodate them anyway.

    and i haven’t been reading because I’m on vacation, and my vacationing mantra is “I’m on vacation and don’t give a shit,” which prettymuch proves my point regarding how men take over.

    I completely agree, Dok. Being a diligent observer of the male species in my workplace, where we get ’em right out of high school in many cases, I can attest that the male continues this space-hogging/don’t give a shit cause I was here first/my cordless drill is better than your cordless drill behavior. Still, it’s amusing to be around!

  8. 8 joebec October 31, 2007 at 4:29 pm

    i’ll tell you what about teenage boys…they just don’t give a fuck!

    This is why, in Feb when my Joey turns 13, i’m promptly sending him off to Abarclay’s or Romi’s house. They can make him a child slave and teach the finer points of ninja warrior fighting. yeah, that’s my plan. shhhh, don’t tell them, i want it to be a suprise 😀

    I feel so sad that I did not have a Romi or Abarclay to send my developing adolescent son to. They seem like nice upstanding young women who will teach your boy the really important things in life. I envy you, Reg…

  9. 9 AnthonyNorth October 31, 2007 at 5:36 pm

    Having raised five sons, I refuse to answer your question on teenage boys. I used to be one myself 🙂

    Oh, Yvonne has my sympathies! Bless her heart for living through that. At least they’re somewhat quieter than teenage girls, who tend to talk more than I have a tolerance for. How did your two girls fare with 5 brothers? Well-protected I’ll bet!

  10. 10 sorrow11 October 31, 2007 at 7:50 pm

    I think it’s the cigarettes, because everything adolescent is scary.

    Gawd, that is the absolute truth! They’re like a different species sometimes. Other times they’re the most delightful, amusing creatures on the planet.

  11. 11 AnthonyNorth November 1, 2007 at 9:37 am

    Yvonne says she prefers to talk to boys than girls. Hope they don’t find out 🙂
    With that many brothers, my girls are so tough they don’t need any help.

    Yeah I agree, the boys are a lot more fun to talk to. But maybe that’s because I’m more used to boys. I find teenage girls exhausting.

  12. 12 poseidonsmuse November 1, 2007 at 8:01 pm

    Hi OB! Glad to hear that I haven’t been the only absent blogger lately. Good for you for the smoking bit too. How long has it been now? About 2 weeks? Your mood might be due to the lack of circulating nicotine, but my bet is on the rudeness of teenage boys. Ah, spoiled youth…what a bittersweet reminiscence. Anyway, these kids sound like they need a swift kick in the keister if you ask me.

    I’m with the others…next time, don’t rein the dog in – let him “clothesline” those nasty boys…and send them tripping into oblivion…Lol!

    xoxo

    Well, today marks 4 weeks since I quit. And I’m running a little bit now – nice to be able to do that again even if I can feel it in my knees! I found out yesterday, when the cross country team was again at the trails, that they’re leaving for State tomorrow. So I’m cutting them (at least) some slack. One of my customer’s sons is our #1 runner – Go BlueJays!

  13. 13 purefnevyl November 1, 2007 at 8:18 pm

    It’s the lack of tar in your system. Tar withdrawl is a real pain in the ass. Just try to avoid licking ashtrays and all should be well soon.

    And that’s the hardest part. I find myself sallivating when driving down a newly asphalted road…it’s all I can do to stop from throwing myself out of the car onto the pavement for a good lick.

  14. 14 romi41 November 1, 2007 at 10:49 pm

    OB: I wish i had known you when your boy was still a teenager; as a professional ninja-trainer, I would’ve been happy to help 🙂

    By the way, no, I do NOT think it’s because you quit smoking: teenage boys are terribly arrogant “own the world type beings” (and no, I do NOT think that because I never had a boyfriend in high school…lol.. 😉 )

    Yeah, I’m sure the fact that I never had a REAL boyfriend in high school has nothing to do with it either. But the smoking – I must admit that nicotine is a great way to self-medicate. I miss the joys of self-medication.

  15. 15 Doktor Holocaust November 4, 2007 at 8:46 pm

    The beauty of it is that in these same Western cultures that encourages their little boys to take up as much space as possible, hog all the toys, drive unnecessarily huge trucks, etc also programs them to be easily reprogrammable via being easily amused. such characters are often appeased by money (one of my favorites, but I’m a collections agent and therefore trained to seek it like a zombie seeks living flesh), small prizes (shiniest stapler, goofy hat, or the like) or praise from women (“We’re a generation of men raised by women” – Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club).

    congrats on quitting smoking. I kicked the habit at the end of july and haven’t looked back. of course, I spend much of my waking life in a state of caffeine intoxication now since I upped my caffeine intake to make up for the lack of nicotine, but it’s still fun, right down to the creepy-crawly hallucinations! three cheers for paranoid delusions! hip-hip-WHOOOZAT!?!?

    So true. Have you read any of Palahnuik’s other stuff? I read Choke a couple of years ago; he has such interesting storylines.


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