Updates

Good morning, my lovlies! snow_route.jpgHere’s hoping everyone had a peaceful Christmas season. Your comments have been received via email (as WordPress is so kind to do) and are much appreciated. Many brought tears to my eyes (~m, are you listening?).

I want to share a bit about what’s going on in my life:  My dad is feeling so much better.  His lung capacity is at 50% and he’s been put on Spiriva.  He also did a sleep study for his sleep apnea and is now waiting for Medicare to authorize his CPAP machine.  His spirits are really high and he seems to have gained a different perspective on life lately.  He actually calls me on the phone once in awhile (this, from a hands-off dad who usually depends on mom to relay any and all information), just to say hi or to tell me about something he’s seen on the news.  He called me on Christmas morning to tell me how much he liked the essay I read to the family on Christmas Eve.  “It brought tears to my eyes” he said. 

This sentimentality from my gruff ol’ dad is kind of freaking me out (but I like it anyway).

Ken and I are struggling with a very personal issue regarding our relationship – which is why I have taken a hiatus from writing lately.  We’re very committed to each other, though, and have started seeing a couples therapist to work through things.   After almost 9 mostly happy years together, I can’t imagine NOT trying to work things out. 

Our mutual sense of humor has certainly served us well lately, and although I’m wading through one of the worst depressive episodes of my life, Ken regularly steps up to absorb the tears and to do what most men find horrifying:  Talk about our relationship.  

Unfortunately, our troubles came at the same time as my dad’s illness, the upcoming holidays, my son moving back home, Ken’s mother’s medical crisis (she was hospitalized recently but is now home), and dealing with our rather large home addition plans.  Add a heavy workload to the mix and it’s a recipe for sensory overload. Thank you Xanax! Without you, I’d be a REAL mess!

It’s been snowing a lot lately and the weather matches my mood.   I could easily sleep for days, like one of those people with Kleine-Levin Syndrome, but life goes on and I get up each morning to face it.  Things will work out because they always do.

I’ll be posting my Best of 2007 List next week.  Ha!  Not that it makes your life more meaningful, but it gives me a chance to arrogantly display my eclectic music/movie/book tastes to the entire world!  I’ll also be making my rounds to your blogs during the next few days.  I’ve missed you all very much. 

Thanks for hanging in here with me.

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22 Responses to “Updates”


  1. 1 venus00 December 27, 2007 at 9:54 am

    I’m so glad you’re writing again. I love you. You are in my prayers and thoughts constantly. Even if you aren’t writing much publicly, I hope you have continued to write privately. It can be very healing. I want to see the essay that made Uncle Ed cry! He’s always been an old softy, just a gruff exterior.
    ~V

    I’m back (at least today I’m back!). It’s been fun getting out to the other blogs – kind of like going around the old neighborhood and catching up with the news. Here’s the link to the essay – which most of you have probably already read: https://observantbystander.wordpress.com/2007/07/05/yes-its-true-we-really-do-like-each-other/

    I have been journaling lately. Pretty dark stuff…I’ve emailed you the site but you might want to get drunk or something before you go there…

  2. 2 Sorrow December 27, 2007 at 12:33 pm

    So glad to see you poked your head out of the bear cave to let us know you were okay. Miss your wonderful words, but am happier knowing that you are taking good care. Abundance of blessings in this new year.

    Thank you sweetie! Today is a good day, and I must admit that I’ve missed everyone very much. It feels good to be appreciated here!

  3. 3 Arm Jerker J. December 27, 2007 at 1:43 pm

    I’m so happy to see you here again. I know that things find their way to working out but I’m not going to go all sappy here about that. I just wanted to say that you are not alone in these “weird” and painful times as I’m having my share. May 2008 make it all worth it! And may your list include Tom Waits.

    There’s absolutely some kind of terrible funk in the universe right now (as opposed to groovy funk, which I totally dig). Tom Waits, eh?

  4. 4 Spyder December 27, 2007 at 1:54 pm

    See I told you we would still be here waiting for you. Prayers & hugs sent your way.

    Hey Spydie! Thanks for the hugs – they have been much appreciated. I see there’s a blogger meetup on my side of the river Saturday and I’ll be out of town! Darn! A few drinks would do this kiddo some good…Next time for sure.

  5. 5 Red December 27, 2007 at 2:01 pm

    Oh Karen!! Yay! Im so glad to see you and your words, and to know that you’re doing okay. I’ve thought about you and have kept you in my prayers.
    Im so glad to see that your Pops is doing well, and that perhaps his scare/time in the hospital did some good .. a phone call means so much, I know it does.
    And the You/Ken issue .. time will tell – it heals everything, right?
    Im sending you lots of happy thoughts!

    Yes, time is a great healer and we’ve needed it. Things are going better than expected, but there are still many very dark days in my life. Loved the pic of your daughter – what a hoot!

  6. 6 somechick84 December 27, 2007 at 2:10 pm

    Hi… I just stumbled across your blog. I hope couple’s counseling helps your relationship (let me know how it goes as I’m thinking mine needs it). And your dad sounds adorable. Someday I hope my dad gets to that point… but for now, I have my mom 🙂 Hope you have a great new years.

    Having been to (now) 3 therapists in my life, I’m finding this one to be the best. Plus, my partner is very dedicated to this process, which is key to the success of therapy. Thanks for stopping by and much luck to you in the new year.

  7. 7 anonymum December 27, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    so good to see this post darlin’….you do what you need to do regardless of how long it takes…as you can see none of us are going anywhere..
    happy to know your dad is on the improvement list..makes the entire christmas thing that little bit brighter…

    Thanks, my down under friend. Hope your Christmas was a good one and your family is well!

  8. 8 romi41 December 27, 2007 at 5:39 pm

    It’s so good to see you back; I’m so pleased your father’s doing better, and how nice to get the random phonecalls 🙂

    By the way: “Things will work out because they always do”

    -Simple yet full of wisdom; you’re absolutely right 🙂

    (look forward to your best of ’07 list 🙂 )

    Hey crazy-woman! Good to hear from you – I checked you out briefly yesterday (while I was SUPPOSED to be working, thank you very much). I’ll stop by for a longer visit soon..

  9. 9 Simonne December 27, 2007 at 7:49 pm

    How wonderful to have you back Karen 🙂 I’m so glad your dad is on the mend, and his heart has been softened by the experience. My dad softened in the same way after surviving cancer and is now not the same man in any way – I still get surprised by it and probably always will.
    It sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate, so please please remember to take time out (5 minutes will do) daily to just sit and meditate 🙂
    Sending you all my love,
    Sxxx

    Hi newlywed! It was good to see that you’ve returned, also, from your very busy wedding and honeymoon time. Muse very wisely counselled me to remember to nurture myself, and I took that advice to heart. There has been much time taken for introspection and self-care lately, and by golly, you wise women are right! It makes a world of difference and facilitates the healing process immensely. Thanks, darlin’.

  10. 10 ~m December 27, 2007 at 8:06 pm

    I’d hang through almost anything with you, OB.
    You’re writing and views of the world are so unique.
    But that my comment brought you to tears? I pray they were somewhat “happy” tears.
    As far as Ken goes, he sounds like an absolute keeper to me and I’m glad to read you’re both trying to work things out.
    Life can be an incredibly bumpy road and those that choose to look the other way ultimately lose out in the end.
    You have to fight for your (eventual) happiness sometimes.
    As I always say, keep the faith, cause sometimes it’s all you have.
    You’re (both) in my prayers. 😉
    ~m

    Ken has so many good qualities – terminating our relationship would be like the old saying – “throwing the baby out with the bathwater”. Ultimately, he’s the man I want/need to spend the rest of my life with. Yes, the tears were happy – I was very touched that someone out there was thinking of ME on Christmas night (how’s that for a sentimental old atheist like myself? There’s just something very lonely and peaceful and watchful about Christmas night). You’re a special guy, Michael and I’m lucky to have you in my sphere of friends. Cheers to you and your family for New Year’s! Be safe.

  11. 11 Doktor Holocaust December 27, 2007 at 9:30 pm

    Welcome back tot he blogosphere! you’ve been missed.

    I’d never heard of Kleine-Levin syndrome before, and now I have a whole new manifestation of brain-disease to worry about on top of the Alzheimer’s that’s already waiting in my genes for the perfect moment to start eating holes in my brain.

    Ha! I just saw a blurb on a newsmagazine about it the other night. Sounds heavenly to me…I don’t know why folks complain about having it! Me? I’m waiting for the inevitible lung cancer to strike. Hey! I’m still not smoking though. Do I get a medal or something?

  12. 12 Grace December 28, 2007 at 8:48 am

    (((( Karen )))) It’s so good to see you back and thank you so much for sharing what’s been going on with you. It’s enough to put anyone on Xanax.

    I can’t say enough how much I respect your choices – 9 years is a long time, and even the best of marriages hit rocky waters now and again. I hope that the therapy helps you re-connect in a new and vibrant way – one that will take you long into the next decades together.

    And journalling….well, as one who has journalled for most of her 50 years…I know the cathartic healing power this tool contains. With my journal, there are no judges, no jurys, no one to be sensitive to or impress. It’s just a great dumping ground for all the stuff that can clog up the works – even bringing some stuff up from the ‘shadows’ that I didnt even know was there (good and …. not so good…kinds of things)

    I hope and pray your life takes on a new serenity and satisfaction….

    Hi Grace! We’re doing OK, but it’s definitely a process that will take awhile. I’m very lucky to have a partner who’s committed to trying to fix things. Too many of my past relationshps involved men who didn’t give a damn. We’re headed out of town for the weekend for a family visit and the small town he’s from is so small, there’s nothing to do but read and relax. I have a new audiobook on IPod and another big thick book I’m in the middle of, so life will be peaceful this weekend at least! Happy New Year, sweetie!

  13. 13 SurfaceEarth December 28, 2007 at 9:22 am

    Wishing you much peace and moments to simply breath. Namaste.

    It’s all about the serenity, isn’t it? Love it! Happy New Year, friend.

  14. 14 poseidonsmuse December 28, 2007 at 11:21 am

    Hi OB! It’s wonderful to hear that your family situation is ironing itself out slowly. I’m sure that both you and Ken have the strength to endure the speed-bumps along the highway of life. I am also glad to hear that your father and mother-in-law are healing too. Long walks and laughter go a long way towards grounding and connectedness…and SurfaceEarth’s advice to “just breathe” is a lovely one too…

    Thinking of you…Lots of love…xoxo

    Hey special friend…We’re on the mend here for sure! Julian moved back in this week also, which added very little to my stress level – I’m pleasantly surprised! It’s kind of reassuring to have him back in his old room, although I had lots of trepidation about it, especially with everything that’s happened lately. Someone asked earlier whether he knows anything, and he doesn’t. No one in my family (well, except for V of course) knows that anything at all has happened, except that I’m having a depressive episode, which isn’t out of the ordinary for me. They loooove Ken and I’m just not into unloading that kind of stuff on the family.

    Anyway, Julian took care of the move himself (no begging mom & Ken to lift and tote and arrange for a truck like in the past) which really made me proud. I stripped wallpaper and repainted the room this past month, which was really a good project for me to involve myself in. I made that part of Julian’s Christmas gift this year and he was very thankful and appreciative. He seems happy and I think you know how worried I’ve been about him these past few months. Life is a wonderful balancing act! Whew, I think this response counts as a mini-post! Cool.

  15. 15 Doktor Holocaust December 29, 2007 at 6:43 pm

    as a Doktor, I prescribe that you reward yourself with whatever you want as often as you want as a prize for not smoking.

    I do the same. every time I want a smoke and do without, I owe myself a prize. maybe pizza from my favorite place for dinner, maybe a new DVD, but every time i really wanna smoke and get groceries or whatever without buying a pack, i make sure I get a reward.

    Nice! I think I’m due for some new Cd’s…

  16. 16 poseidonsmuse December 31, 2007 at 9:53 pm

    Just stopped by to wish you a Happy New Year kiddo! Lots of love!!! xoxo

    And to you, my dear!

  17. 17 Simonne January 1, 2008 at 6:59 am

    Happy New Year Karen!
    Sxxx

    Happy New Year to you and your new hubby, kiddo!

  18. 18 AnthonyNorth January 1, 2008 at 6:27 pm

    Hi OB,
    I was a bit slow realising you were back with us. Been a bit busy myself lately. I’m pleased things are working themselves out for you. Times such as these usually balance out some time in the near future, and life will be great again.

    Ah balance! You’re right of course, and that old saying seems to be true – ‘one is not faced with more than can be handled’ (slightly modified for the atheist in me!). Nice to see you around, North – hope your holidays were filled with family!

  19. 19 niku January 2, 2008 at 2:07 am

    hello, you may suggest Yoga to your father. there has been a resurgence of Yoga in India these days and people are coming up with wondrous claims of cures.
    best wishes for the new year. and perhaps my blog is also back.

    Haha! I can just see my big fat ol’ tick of a dad trying standing forward bend! Unfortunately, I doubt he would ever attempt yoga, but I’m going to lead my son through a session on Friday in an attempt to help him with some leg and buttock pain he’s had chronically for a couple of years. Glad to see you, my friend! I’ll check you out later.

  20. 20 pradapixie January 4, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    oh how lovely you’re back.
    I’m sorry to hear things have been tough, and I do so hope you are starting to resolve issues together.
    Depression sucks, but eventually passes
    Just hang on in there, hon.
    love
    pix x

    As the song says, “it’s getting better all the time…”

  21. 21 Nick January 8, 2008 at 9:03 am

    i also dig guggenheim grotto.

    just one, tiny little nit-pick – ‘waltzing alone’ was released in Ireland in 2005 and in the US in 2006, September to be exact.

    however, given the dearth of great musice in 2007, i suppose it still qualifies, eh?

    p.s. their new album is ‘across the pond’ which you can hear some of at starbucks.

    Cool! So many times, the good music from across the way doesn’t hit my radar until about a year or so after its release date. Thanks for the update Nick! Question? Is it true that the revolution will not be televised?

  22. 22 Nick January 8, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    glad i could help. i probably would be in the same boat if i hadn’t bought a new car a few year’s a ago with satelite radio – which absolutely rocks for all the great music you NEVER hear on FM.

    “Question? Is it true that the revolution will not be televised?”

    …it’s not being televised now.

    Boy, that’s that truth! I like the way you think.


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