stupidus wordicus redux

It’s a burden being right all the time. 

As soon as Dannon starting running their stoopid “Now with Bifidus Regularis!” commercials, I smelled a rat.  Then I proceeded to do what I often do when faced with obviously hyped-up claims that a product will restore the nation’s digestive systems back to normal after binging on cold pizza for days – I blogged about it.   

Now Dannon’s being sued for false advertising!   After skipping with glee around the house on my tiny, doll-sized feet chanting “Die, Dannon, die!” whilst pumping my fist into the air for emphasis, I collapsed onto my couch exhausted, just in time to see the fibromyalgia lady make her umpteenth, uninvited appearance in my living room. 

She’s my next target and I will bring her down.  Mark my words.


10 Responses to “stupidus wordicus redux”

  1. 1 Red January 25, 2008 at 12:19 pm

    hahahaaa! Who’s next? The folks that have herpes commercials?

    Yes! And the product with the tagline “Have a happy period” – whoever made that one up should have to do hard time in Sing Sing.

  2. 3 Spyder January 25, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    I say go for the little blue pill. Take them DOWN!

    The Viva Viagra commercial won Worst Commercial of 2007. If you haven’t seen that one, you’re missing something special…

  3. 4 greenmetropolis January 25, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    Gah! Dude, I hate all of those commercials! I don’t even know what retarded company it was, but some chick is standing in front of her fridge eating this hyped-up yogurt wearing a bright yellow yoga/jogging/otherstupidthings suit. One: Who the hell stands provocatively in front of their fridge wearing a yellow spandex get-up? (Actually, I’ll have to consult Romi on that….) And two: How many people watch that and think “Ooh, pre AND probiotic cultures?” WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING WHAT THAT MEANS?!?! Gaaah! Yes, it has resulted in yelling at the television, which can be very sad when you live by yourself…

    …”it has resulted in yelling at the television, which can be very sad when you live by yourself…” Ha ha! I talk to the TV AND the cats when I’m by myself. Sometimes I yell…

  4. 5 Doktor Holocaust January 25, 2008 at 9:11 pm

    …my doctor is always giving me antibiotics, so i suspect these pro-biotic foods are a conspiracy to give people infections and sell more pills to treat YTDs – Yogurtally-Transmitted Diseases.

    I wanna go after the antidepressant-pill-commercial people. their commercials always REMIND me of how pathetic my life is and MAKE me depressed so i WANT their pills, but i can’t afford pills like that so i settle for booze and horror movies and then I’m right as rain and happy to live a life so pointless that i can do whatever i want, when i want, without it troubling a soul.

    i dunno what fibromyalgia is, but if i can wield the Bowling Ball of Wrathful Smiting, I shall happily jkoin the crusade to take down Fibromyalgia Woman andd all her hellish minions. especially if someone’s bringing coconut rum, or if i can bring my own for that matter.

    Mmmmm, coconut rum. I tried to find some plain rum the other day and was bombarded by brand after brand of flavored rums instead. When did rum become a fashion statement?

  5. 6 RubyShooZ January 25, 2008 at 9:23 pm

    That Lyrica they’re selling for the fybromyalgia cost us 125.00 co-pay even with our insurance! There’s no way we could afford that each month. The best thing anyone with fybromyalgia can do is get some mild, low impact exercise – swimming, walking…

    Hey woman, I’ve missed you. Sorry I haven’t been around but you know the story. Actually, the worst part lately is my eyes and that’s a mystery ailment – not sure what the problem is but man, it *is* a problem!

    I hope all is well with you and I hope to see you. I haven’t been much of anywhere lately but just trying to make the rounds now while I’ve been having a few good days.

    Peace today.

    Ah, don’t fret MsShoes. I haven’t been anywhere lately either. Did you know The Muse has shut down? Horrors! I feel very sad about that. Sorry to hear about your eyes but glad to hear you’re having a good spell. I agree with you regarding the exercise.; I think it’s is something that cures a lot of ills. It’s helped me weather this really bad spell without caving in to the old cigarette habit. Nice to see you around, cutie!

  6. 7 Sibyllae January 25, 2008 at 9:24 pm

    Hello, just wanted to share that another blogger visited you from the comment you made on my blog and posted about it (you). I thought that was just really nice and wanted to let you know in case you didn’t see it. Their post is here:

    (PS: You can delete this, i didn’t have any other way to contact you to tell you someone else (along with me) thinks you da bomb! 🙂

    Thanks Sib! I’ll leave this up so folks can visit Ron’s site. Interesting subjects discussed there!

  7. 8 venus00 January 27, 2008 at 11:32 am

    I just saw this one on the History channel. Who buys this stuff???

    I saw that ad the other night and laughed my ass off! Man, those people have really dirty feet! (I shudder to think that those pads are actually sucking stuff out of the body. That’s not possible, is it?)

  8. 9 AnthonyNorth January 28, 2008 at 4:36 am

    ‘It’s a burden being right all the time.’

    I know just how you feel 🙂

    Heehee! When you’ve got it, flaunt it!

  9. 10 m.toast January 29, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    I’m glad someone else notices/is pissed off by this sort of general stoopidity. I’m just aghast at all the folks who are content to think they’re buying something healthy on the basis of the marketing. Instead of actually reading the label.

    Hey Toastie One! The entire marketing industry needs to be taken down by a posse of pissed off consumers like ourselves who refuse to be dazzled by their faux-scientific claims of health. ‘Bifidus regularis’ was the last straw for me. Do they really think we believe a bunch of scientists came up with that name? Oh puleeze.

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